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# Watch War on Movies #

In this age, where the beast of Hollywood fires off stinking salvos of tasteless rubbish with every breath, it takes men of passion and honor to point a righteous finger at this wanton destruction and call foul. These soldiers, whiskey on their breath and curses on their lips, step bravely into the dust and rubble strewn about the cinema. They shout in the faces of idolaters, fan-boys and tabloid magazine muckrakers, "Bite back your celebrity worship and stand clear of the theatre!" They are fighting the worst kind of terror—that which devours our stories and makes us sit glassy eyed before that blazing screen.

We are these soldiers. We are your only weapon against this miasma of talentless drivel. We have seen our friends and brothers twisting in agony under the thumb of another sycophantic comedian begging for laughs. We grant them reprieve—drink them to death and march on to have our revenge.

Enemy Hollywood.

This is the gold standard, this is the horrible truth: The destructive inevitability of the theatrical machine drives us to violence and drink—gives us an enemy our fathers and their fathers couldn't even comprehend. It lives inside us. We fight for revenge. To fight back against the atmosphere of tit for tat filmmaking. To crush beneath our heels those who would prostrate before golden statuettes. This is holy war.

Beware, all you studios. We know what grotesque, rotting hearts beat within your hallways and behind closed doors. We cannot be stopped, not as our voices echo across the internets, doubling back as our sisters and brothers join us to upend your unlawful regime. The cinema will be ours again.

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Listen well, writers. Know my words, directors. Hear me clearly, actors. This is not to be tolerated. No longer will this violence go unnoticed. You will be repaid, forced to hand back the money—earned with the sweat of my brow—that you have wrenched from my hands on countless Friday nights. The days of my youth seem farther and farther behind me. Now we are soldiers, armed and dangerous, and looking to get it all back. In blood.

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